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Short Snappers: Funny Insurance Claim Explanations #2

 This is the second of three files containing funny and crazy explanations for auto insurance claims. Choose your favoritest to present to your training group as a way of providing a destressing breather, or as a doorway into exploring various communication errors.

The first in the series is here

The third is here. 


  1. I thought the side window was down but it was up, as I found when I put my head through it.
  2. I told the other idiot what he was and went on.
  3. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found I had a fractured skull.
  4. I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian and the old gentleman was taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.
  5. I was driving along when I saw two kangaroos copulating in the middle of the road, causing me to ejaculate through the sun roof.
  6. I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
  7. I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and was blocked by a tanker.
  8. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
  9. I was scraping my nearside on the bank when the accident happened.
  10. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
  11. I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
  12. I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left for a vacation with injuries. (Full was: I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.)
  13. Ice on the road applied brakes causing skid.
  14. If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened.
  15. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
  16. Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife while he is there. What shall I do about it?
  17. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
  18. My car was stolen and I set up a human cry, but it has not been recovered.
  19. No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
  20. No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.
  21. On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
  22. On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other car didn’t give way.
  23. Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident? A: Travelled by bus?
  24. She suddenly saw me, lost her head and we met.
  25. The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.